I've been working as a psychologist specialising in adult autism assessment and support for many years now, and I continue to be amazed by the diversity and complexity of human neurology (brains). One profile that has deepened my understanding is the Pervasive Drive for Autonomy (PDA), a natural and adaptive way that autism can present in adults. Note that this is called 'Pathological Demand Avoidance in less neuroaffirming circles. But whatever. I like the term- what about you? It's been recognised in the United Kingdom for some time, we're still growing in our understanding here in Australia.
The Nature of PDA
PDA represents a profound and legitimate need for personal autonomy - a fundamental way of experiencing and navigating the world. This isn't a deficit or disorder, but rather an integral part of how some autistic people's nervous systems work. A need for autonomy isn't a choice or resistance - it's as natural to me as breathing. People may think it looks like someone being lazy, annoying, selfish, etc, but it really isn't.
The Nature of Demand Avoidance
Understanding demand avoidance as an adaptive response is crucial. Rather than viewing it as opposition, we can recognize it as a legitimate protective mechanism. Our response to demands is our nervous system protecting us, so let's stop fighting ourself and start working with our natural rhythms!
Common areas where our nervous system might need protection include:
Daily activities that feel overwhelming to our system (nope!)
Professional environments with rigid expectations..urgh- team meetings :(
Social situations that challenge our autonomy- (no, I don't want to make meaningless small talk with a group of NTs I'll likely never see again, but thanks!)
Self-care activities when they feel demanding (can't brush my teeth tonight- doesn't mean i don't care about myself)
Healthcare interactions that feel pressuring (eg- let's talk about sleep hygiene..but what would most GPs know about sleep hygiene relevant to autistic folk without gaslighting us??!)
Administrative tasks that create internal pressure (no thanks!)
Time-bound commitments that restrict our freedom (i'd rather work on my SPINS)
Honouring Our Needs
Understanding anxiety and control in PDA means recognizing them as valid responses to perceived threats to autonomy- we get legitimate signals that our boundaries need protecting. This understanding shifts us away from viewing these responses as problems to solve, and toward seeing them as important messages to honour.
Our bodies might signal the need for protection through:
Physical responses to perceived demands
Natural resistance to unexpected changes
Individual relationships with routine
Intuitive responses to decision-making pressure
Protective need for personal control
Varying capacity across different days
Nurturing Relationships
Relationships flourish when we acknowledge and respect our need for autonomy. Mutual understanding can transform our partnerships- when we can recognized a need for autonomy as valid and natural, our relationships with others deepen. We can find ways to connect that respects others needs too.
Key aspects of nurturing relationships include:
Respecting our need for personal space
Embracing creative problem-solving
Using our social understanding as a strength
Acknowledging our varying capacity
Respecting emotional boundaries
Celebrating deep connections when we feel secure
Living Authentically
So, by now, I hope you're understanding that PDA represents a valid and natural way of being in the world. When we understand these responses as adaptive rather than problematic, we open the door to more authentic living (yes please!) Success comes not from changing these patterns, but from creating environments and relationships that respect them.
Further Resources
For those interested in learning more about PDA, Sally Cat's website (www.sallycatpda.co.uk) offers valuable insights from both personal and professional perspectives. Meiouw!!!!! Hello to my fellow cat lovers- yes!- she does feature some cool felines. Also, my Aussie friends may benefit from exploring Kristy Forbes' work at www.kristyforbes.com.au, which provides comprehensive info about autism and PDA in an Australian context. Adult autism assessment continues to evolve, and staying informed about current understanding and approaches is crucial for both professionals and individuals seeking support.
nice.